Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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