Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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