oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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