Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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