I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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