I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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