That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
