I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize