i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
