this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
