you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
