I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
This is the high leading the old right now
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
