Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
