One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Drake has all the answers
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
