wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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