He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
