using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize