Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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