Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
