Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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