I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
