the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
