Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
