Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
