i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
