I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
