is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
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It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
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I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
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