He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Who died my cat blue again?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I currently don't understand fingers.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
