I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
