We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He did a backflip because drugs
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
