Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize