dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
