All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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