If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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