Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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