I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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