If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
