Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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