ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
