ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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