thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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