Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
