I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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