your parents love me but you hate me
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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