i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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