Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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