If i come over, it means nothing
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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