No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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