Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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