dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
