We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize