Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
