Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
