i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
