I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
this boner is exhausting
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I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
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I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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