i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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