You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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