He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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