actually, I'm a sock model
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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