If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
