Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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