I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
