Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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