if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
