some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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