worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
