ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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