Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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